Feral Kitten
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Feral Songstress
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Okay guys. I'm open to any types of comments. Constructive criticism is welcome! Hope you like it!
Tell Me I Will Never Die
Tell me I will never die
As I lay here in your arms
Slowly fading away
Watching the helpless look on your face
The tears rolling down your cheek
Feeling your chest rattle
With your breath coming in sharp
Tell me I will never die
Lying in a pool of my blood
You rocking me back and forth
"It'll be alright" I say
You don't seem reassured
I want you to understand
We'll be fine
Tell me I will never die
As all turns dark
Instead, you tell me you love me
And press your lips to mine
You hold onto my body
Unwilling to let go
Tell me I will never die.....
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Jinxeshisu
A Nobody; HL's Colorist
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Forever Alone - Nobody For Life
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nice
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Shaantera
Guest
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Nicely done
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Feral Kitten
HV's L&W Mod
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Feral Songstress
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Same one as this one guys. I'd like any comments. I'd love some constructive criticism to help my writing improve! This one I wrote in grade eight. Enjoy!
My Love
I sit here
impatient to leave
but I must wait.
People go by
my time wasted
by so-called "talents."
My thoughts were quelled
by the beautiful melody
of your music floating through the air.
I close my eyes
and thoughts of dancing
go through my mind.
Your gentle rhythms
flowing softly to the next
seamless, unwavering perfection.
Suddenly your voice
comes through
like a flower on a winter day.
I sit here and listen
in ecstasy
falling in love with every note.
Tears of joy
roll down my cheek
because of your music.
I feel happy, sad
hopelessly romantic
because of you talents.
Slowly, I realize
it's almost over
I don't want it to end.
And that is the story,
of how I fell in love
with your music
your talent
and you.
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Feral Kitten
HV's L&W Mod
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Feral Songstress
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This one came from a really pissed off little girl who didn't approve of what was on the television. I think I wrote this in about ten minutes before school one day in grade eight as well. Same rules apply guys! Enjoy!
The Joys of the Oppressed
Oh, the joys of the oppressed!
Of those who are exploited
Their bodies fawned over
By filthy pigs
On the television it's all you see
Scrawny girls running around
In practically nothing
Showing off all they've got.
It's despicable
The way they writhe
Around on the ground
Like a cat in heat.
Also, the way we women
Are treated like sex symbols
Only desireable if we weigh
Ninety pounds.
But those of us
Who see the truth
Must set an examole
For our generation.
To have high morals
And dress with class
And instead, to flaunt
Our talents and minds.
So ladies,
My message to you
Is clear
No fine print -
Stop treating yourselves
Like slaves
Use your mind
Value yourselves and others;
Because you are beautiful
Just the way you are
Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
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Feral Kitten
HV's L&W Mod
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Feral Songstress
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Oh! Discovered another one! YAY! ^^ This one I wrote in grade nine in my English class. It was a first line poem. He'd give us a line and we'd have to use it as the beginning of our story. Mine was "the sound echoed in my mind". And here is the end result! (I got an A for this one. I never thought it deserved that grade... but that's all subjective!)
The Piercing Scream
The sound echoed in my mind
A high pitched scream
Everything was dark
I was surrounded by trees
Their branches lashing out
The mist looming towards me -
I ran for my life
Away from a terrifying shriek
It was surrounding me...
Consuming me...
Keeping my fear resolute
Where was she?
The girl who screamed?
It was still there
That awful wail
But as I ran
Inside the back of my mind
I knew who it was...
That girl...
That girl was me
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Feral Kitten
HV's L&W Mod
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Feral Songstress
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thank you so much hero. that is very touching to say.
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Feral Kitten
HV's L&W Mod
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Feral Songstress
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Waiting
I lay in my bed
My face hidden
Within a tear-soaked pillow
Waiting for my heart
To stop hurting
I urge myself
To calm down
And I lay in bed
Waiting for my mind
To stop racing
To see you
Wanting that girl
I lay in my bed
Waiting for my eyes
To stop crying
I am all alone
Lying in my bed
On my tear-soaked pillow
Waiting for you
To come around
I curl up in a ball
As I soon realize
You left me waiting….
Waiting for my soul
To return as it once was
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magmayoshi
Guest
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I love your poems ^^
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Feral Kitten
HV's L&W Mod
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Feral Songstress
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Aww. thanks! ^^
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